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Choose the Kind of Life You Want

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Choose the Kind of Life You Want

Tess Brigham

We’re onto Secret #4!

If you haven’t read Secrets #1, #2 or #3 yet...then what are you waiting for? Go back to Secret #1 to catch up!

The 20-Something years are full of choices. What career path to pursue, what city to live in, travel the world or focus on work, who to date and the list goes on and on. There are so many choices to make and at times it may seem easier to just let someone else tell you which job to pursue or person to date.

There’s nothing wrong with getting help and advice from friends and family. We all need a trusted friend, parent or sister to help us figure out what’s the best route to take. What you need to remember is advice is just…advice. It’s someone else’s opinion or perspective on your life.

Take in what friends and family have to say but it’s ultimately up to you to determine your own path. Secret #4 is about the dangers of “shoulding” all over yourself. 

Secret #4: Choose the kind of life you want to lead because at the end of the day, you’re the only one who’s gonna be livin’ it.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Well I should really be…” or “I know my mother thinks I should…” If this sounds like you, then you’ve got a case of the “shoulds.” The “shoulds” are the things you think you should be doing.

The problem is the “shoulds” don’t take into consideration the kind of person you are or the kind of life you want to live. When we “should” ourselves, we’re only thinking about how our decisions or choices look from the outside.

For example, let’s say you’re considering going back to graduate school to get an MBA. The “shoulds” never keep in mind that you’re the one who’s going to have to attend the classes, write all the papers, take all the tests and, when school is over, pay all the student loans.

It doesn’t matter if you think you “should” get an MBA, you always need to ask yourself, “Would an MBA get me to where I want to go?” You have to remember that all those people who are “shoulding” all over you, aren’t going to be up late reading for you nor are they going to finishing up your latest 20-page paper.

This is your life and you’re the only one who has to live it, so make choices that feel right for you and the kind of life you want to live.